Seeking Fair

I have two small children (ages 10 & 11) and at least once a day I hear the words “that’s not fair”. I can remember back to my own childhood and uttering these same words… though I hope not as much. :D My Dad had a response… that, at the time I hated, never understood and certainly refused to accept or embrace. My Dad would say, “Life’s not fair”. Grrr…. What does that even mean? After all don't we have all these rules to make things fair? What about policies, referees, democracy and laws, weren't these things invented to make things fair?

The truth of the matter is that life is not fair… at least not in the traditional sense of just and balanced, and certainly not in real-time. Holding on to this expectation (seeking fair) can be incredibly frustrating and can be a huge limiting factor. I often see this creeping into individual’s lives and it affecting their entire life. There is a better way.

OK, ready for this… by being unfair to yourself (consistently), you can actually give yourself an unfair advantage over others, over time. This is true personally, professionally and especially for organizations.  

Some of the happiest people are completely unfair. There are great studies that show that spending your money on others (TEDTalk) can dramatically increase your happiness and that buying yourself more and more stuff can decrease it.

Some of the most successful people in history were completely unfair. Every heard of servant leadership? President Abraham Lincoln is an excellent example of this …we need more examples like this in today’s organizations.

Many of the best companies are unfair as can be. Google is unfair by providing death benefits to employees. Its pretty unfair for company’s to create no layoff policies, even during hard times.

Are there times to fight for fairness? Are there down (rock bottom?) moments due to things not being fair? Sure, but they are a lot more rare than you might think. By taking that unfair moment/action/element and accepting it for what it is, pushing through it and using it as a growth opportunity you might just be able to say, “thank you”, for it. :D

So I ask you? Are you wasting time and energy seeking fair, or will you unfairly add to your own advantage? :D